How has it been to be you over there so far this month?
What are you trying to manage in terms of trying to make this festive season special?We know families have the most joyfully memorable Christmases when as parents we are able to mindfully be present.
It can be extremely hard to work out how much is ‘enough’ or ‘too much’ though, can’t it!?
Here is an idea to try on:
Imagine there are a set of balancing scales and that each magical experience you set out to deliver falls onto one side. On the other side sits how much of yourself you have available to give to this this year.
There is a point where a tipping point is reached. Up to that point you are within your capacity with realistic expectations of yourself and others still intact. Beyond that point your ‘going all out’ comes at the cost of depleting yourself and your connection with your peeps.
To work out how to proceed maybe it will help if you think along the lines of the 80/20 rule (also known as the Pareto Principle – that for any event 80 percent of outcomes result from 20 percent of inputs).
If you can identify the inputs that are most productive you can make them the priority. Find these out by sitting down and inviting each family member nominate the top two things that they most love about Christmas. Work out how as a family you can help each other weave these into this Christmas (if you can), and cull a few things that across the years you have taken on doing because they sounded good (but that aren’t the key things that you identified you love).
We commonly want to do so much more than we have capacity for. It’s really hard to not get caught up in the vortex of the festive frenzy.
I’d love to hear how you keep your December tame enough that you manage to feel present.